Girls have it made.
We’ve all been entrenched in a culture that perpetuates the Myth that in order to make sexy time with a Lady, a man has to run through demon armies, slay fire breathing dragons and defeat evil frosty witches.
When did this culture of decadence started? Everyone has his/her theories but there are no conclusive evidences so far.
Me? I blame Disney. More specifically, the Disney Princesses.
Yes, I post a Pink picture. Bah
The Disney Princesses refer to classic fairy tale characters such as Snow White, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid who are all linked by 1 common thing – they make more money for Disney together than they ever could singly.
Seriously, Someday all their Princes came and they all lived happily ever after.
At least, this is the Princess’ side of the story.
The Princes on the other hand would have something else to say about this altogether. Disney really should come up with a Disney Princes series, complete with attached bar and beer mugs for the Princes to bitch talk about their proposal stories together.
Not convinced? Let’s take a look at some of these fine examples.
Dancing... Sometimes a fate worse than death
Loves Utensils
Belle (Beauty): Taken from little village to stay in Big Castle. Spends time frolicking with kitchen utensils and fondling candlesticks.
Beast (Beast): Spends a century trapped in the body of an animal. Get zapped by lightning as way of proposal.
Advantage: Princesses
Ariel (The Little Mermaid): Abandoned fishy underwater kingdom to stay in Big Castle. Spends time frolicking with fishes and fondling weird birdies
Prince Eric : Slays century old witch shaped like an octopus as way of proposal
Advantage: Princesses
LOVES fishes... fine.. seahorses too
Cinderella (Cinderella): Went partying in a Big Castle. Spends time frolicking with mice and fondling funny farm produces to make them grow bigger.
Prince Charming (really): Combed through entire town looking for owner of 1 shoe. Smelled (presumably century old smelling) feet of an entire town’s worth of women as way of proposal
Advantage: Princesses (hell, yeah)
The original party girl
Fruits and vegetables are good for you
The list goes on, but what can we make from all these irrefutable evidences?
Besides the fact that I have an unhealthy enough knowledge of Disney to name all the Princesses and their Princes. (Bet you didn’t know that the real name for Beast is Beast), it’s that it is very hard for a real guy to live up to those ideals.
Fortunately, not all girls believe these nonsense. It is through these friends that I got my moral support.
To be honest, as I was sweating it out, preparing for the big proposal, I was constantly buoyed by the words an encouraging friend of Her’s, who, I am not kidding said,
“If she doesn’t cry, you are gonna have to do it all over again”
Thankfully, I got the good one. One that does not count on frivolous acts of childishness to determine who she spends the rest of her life with.
And thankfully we got a strong relationship built on years of friendship and trust. One which I counted on when I got down on one knee and asked her “Will you marry me?”
While it was a surprise proposal, she managed to maintain her poise and answered without hesitation, and this I really have to quote verbatim for you to fully appreciate the kind of confidence I felt at that point of time….
“Ermm… Ermmm… Ermm…I… Ermmm… Ermmm… Ermm…”
Of course the fact that this blog is here is evidence that she eventually (2 shifting of weights from right knee to left and left to right again) said “Yes”.
And when it did, I felt like I really could run through demon armies, slay fire breathing dragons and defeat evil frosty witches.
